Monday, February 28, 2011
Dear White Hummer Driver Parked Outside Nawab At Lunch Today,

Thank you.  For being you.  You, meaning a typical hummer driver.  It gave me an opportunity I didn't think I'd ever get!  You see, for Christmas, santa left me a great little gift in my stocking, but I wasn't sure I'd be bold enough to use it.  Then I pulled up to lunch, very hungry because we'd already gone to one indian restaurant that turned out to be closed on Mondays, and I just wanted to eat.  Instead I had to debate if I could fit in a parking space because you parked like this:
Yes, I know this isn't your exact hummer.  I was too busy contemplating my options to think to take a picture.  Your hummer was white, but equally poorly parked.  So I squeezed into the last parking space, which was really more like 4/5 a parking space because you apparently have neglect of the right side of your vehicle.  And then, I whipped out my pen and my stocking stuffer and went to work.

It was a bit of a rush, deciding to use the stocking stuffer on you.  I had to be bold.  And sneaky.  And about 3 inches taller, because your hummer is huge.  By now, you know what I left you, as a present for you kind hearted spirit, and parking etiquette.  And the present looks like this:

Thats right.  I did it.  I gave you a ticket.  For "failing to park between the lines", and "owning a Hummer".  The fact that "owning a Hummer" is on the list meant that I was really morally obligated to give you a ticket.  How could I not??  I pretty much had to leap to get the ticket under your winshield wiper so I'd be sure you saw it.  But it was totally worth it.  I was, however, extremely relieved that your particular Hummer wasn't equipped with a talking, honking, electrocuting person sensing alarm system.

How did you react when you saw the ticket?  Did your heart start pounding initially, because you thought it was a REAL ticket?  Did you laugh?  Get mad?  Snicker on the inside because you recognize your own absurdity?

I hope you learned something from today.  Mainly, if you can't park your hummer between the lines, you can't drive your hummer.  Sorry, those are the rules.  I would drive a firetruck to lunch, except I can't park it between the lines.  So I don't drive it to lunch. 

Learn to park your car.  Or get a smaller car. 


PS.  If you were just borrowing your mom's car, I apologize for giving you a small heart attack.  Please convey this message to her, and tell her not to let you drive her Hummer, until she teaches you to park it.


Jen said...

Where is the section that says "driving without a valid license plate or really any license plate and parking in handicapped spots during a class about ethics?" just curious

Kari said...

I'll have to invent my own parking ticket just for that special occasion... :)

About Me

I am a Family Medicine intern at a community hospital in Indiana, navigating the new world of being a physician. I am privileged to work in a field I love, where every day is a new and unpredictable challenge.
I am not only a doctor, but also a cyclist, runner, DIYer in the making, lover of the outdoors, traveler, and human.
Human, MD is a glimpse into the world of a young doctor who is just trying to stay true to herself through the grueling whirlwind of residency.


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