Monday, February 28, 2011
Dear White Hummer Driver Parked Outside Nawab At Lunch Today,

Thank you.  For being you.  You, meaning a typical hummer driver.  It gave me an opportunity I didn't think I'd ever get!  You see, for Christmas, santa left me a great little gift in my stocking, but I wasn't sure I'd be bold enough to use it.  Then I pulled up to lunch, very hungry because we'd already gone to one indian restaurant that turned out to be closed on Mondays, and I just wanted to eat.  Instead I had to debate if I could fit in a parking space because you parked like this:
Yes, I know this isn't your exact hummer.  I was too busy contemplating my options to think to take a picture.  Your hummer was white, but equally poorly parked.  So I squeezed into the last parking space, which was really more like 4/5 a parking space because you apparently have neglect of the right side of your vehicle.  And then, I whipped out my pen and my stocking stuffer and went to work.

It was a bit of a rush, deciding to use the stocking stuffer on you.  I had to be bold.  And sneaky.  And about 3 inches taller, because your hummer is huge.  By now, you know what I left you, as a present for you kind hearted spirit, and parking etiquette.  And the present looks like this:

Thats right.  I did it.  I gave you a ticket.  For "failing to park between the lines", and "owning a Hummer".  The fact that "owning a Hummer" is on the list meant that I was really morally obligated to give you a ticket.  How could I not??  I pretty much had to leap to get the ticket under your winshield wiper so I'd be sure you saw it.  But it was totally worth it.  I was, however, extremely relieved that your particular Hummer wasn't equipped with a talking, honking, electrocuting person sensing alarm system.

How did you react when you saw the ticket?  Did your heart start pounding initially, because you thought it was a REAL ticket?  Did you laugh?  Get mad?  Snicker on the inside because you recognize your own absurdity?

I hope you learned something from today.  Mainly, if you can't park your hummer between the lines, you can't drive your hummer.  Sorry, those are the rules.  I would drive a firetruck to lunch, except I can't park it between the lines.  So I don't drive it to lunch. 

Learn to park your car.  Or get a smaller car. 

Love,
Kari

PS.  If you were just borrowing your mom's car, I apologize for giving you a small heart attack.  Please convey this message to her, and tell her not to let you drive her Hummer, until she teaches you to park it.

2 comments:

Jen said...

Where is the section that says "driving without a valid license plate or really any license plate and parking in handicapped spots during a class about ethics?" just curious

Kari said...

I'll have to invent my own parking ticket just for that special occasion... :)

About Me

I am a Family Medicine intern at a community hospital in Indiana, navigating the new world of being a physician. I am privileged to work in a field I love, where every day is a new and unpredictable challenge.
I am not only a doctor, but also a cyclist, runner, DIYer in the making, lover of the outdoors, traveler, and human.
Human, MD is a glimpse into the world of a young doctor who is just trying to stay true to herself through the grueling whirlwind of residency.

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